7:02 PM, Mar. 8, 2012
Article from Tenessean
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from hardship. It is an important skill for handling stress.
Dr. Kenneth R. Ginsburg talks about the seven Cs of resilience in his book, Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings. He believes that children who have these seven Cs will be more likely to recover from adversity and avoid some of the negative outcomes that are a result of stress in childhood.
Here’s how he describes the seven Cs:
Competence — This is having the ability or skills to handle situations well. Children learn competence when they are taught how to do things and when they are given the chance to make decisions, regardless of the results (success or failure).
Confidence — When children have the skills to handle hard times, they develop the confidence to take risks and face challenges. Children develop confidence when parents encourage them by focusing on what they are doing right or well. Instead of saying, “You’re such a great kid,” say something like “I was really proud that you made friends with the new kid at school. You have a gift for making others feel welcome.”
Connections — Relationships to family and to groups outside the family give children more resources to draw on when they face difficult situations. Accept the emotions your children feel, but help them to learn how to express them properly. Practice problem-solving by having family meetings to talk through issues. Let your children become involved with groups outside the home such as clubs, religious groups, sports teams, arts classes and similar groups.
Character — This highlights the core values your child holds regarding what is right and wrong. You can help your child learn to do what is right, even when that isn’t the popular thing to do. Teach your children how what they do affects others. Talk with your children about acceptance of others who are different. Treat others with respect.
Contribution — This is the ability to make a positive difference through one’s actions and choices. When children realize that they can make a difference in the lives of others, they feel very powerful. Make helping others a family affair. Rake an elderly neighbor’s yard, serve a meal at a local shelter, provide food or gifts to a family in need, or pick up litter in your neighborhood.
Coping — You can help your kids learn to cope by teaching them the difference between a true crisis and something that just feels like an emergency. Encourage kids to use play and fantasy to cope with stress. Teach them how to work step by step to solve problems. Use positive coping skills such as exercising, problem-solving, taking time to relax, or asking advice or help from someone you trust.
Control — Teach children that most of life is a direct result of our or someone else’s actions or choices. Help them know that they have the power to make choices that will result in the best outcomes. Instead of dwelling on the current problems, think about the future you want and concrete steps you can take to get there. See discipline as teaching or guiding instead of controlling. Give your children increased privileges as they show more responsibility.
For more information related to Family and Consumer Science issues, please contact Shelly Barnes at 615-444-9584 or sbarnes@utk.edu.
— Submitted by Shelly Barnes, the Wilson County Extension Office
Article from Tenessean
