Article from Kids Health
·
Contents
What is it?
Imagine you have each end of a piece of elastic in your hands. Pull your hands apart
and the elastic stretches.
Let go of one end and
the elastic bounces back to its original size.
That is resilience. (say re-zil-i-ens)
For people resilience
means that whatever bad times you go through you can always bounce back again
and be yourself.
What helps you to become resilient?
To be a resilient
person you need to feel good about yourself. As a kid there are
three areas where you spend your time – home, school and anywhere else! The most important areas for children are home and school.
|
At home
Answer yes or no to these questions: |
||
|
|
 |
Do I feel safe at home?
|
|
Do I feel loved and cared for?
|
||
|
|
Does my family encourage me to do my best?
|
|
|
|
If there is a problem, do we talk things
over?
|
|
|
Do I have chores to do which help the
family?
|
|
|
Are there easy-to-understand rules and consequences
(what will happen if the rules are broken)?
|
|
|
Is exercise a part of my day?
|
|
|
Do I feel happy at home?
|
|
|
Do people listen to me?
|
|
|
Do I feel relaxed at home?
|
|
|
Do I feel supported at home?
|
|
|
Do I spend time with all of the family?
|
|
|
Do family members listen to each other even
if they don't agree?
|
|
At school
Answer yes or no to these questions: |
||
 |
Do I feel safe at school?
|
 |
|
|
Am I encouraged to do my best?
|
|
|
|
If there is a problem, am I able to talk
things over?
|
|
|
|
Are school rules simple and easy to
understand?
|
|
|
Are consequences for inappropriate
behaviour clear and fair?
|
|
|
Do I learn how to set realistic goals for
myself?
|
|
|
Do I feel supported?
|
|
|
Do I feel happy?
|
 |
|
Do I get positive feedback on my work?
|
|
|
Am I encouraged to take on a leadership
role in the school? [Eg Student Council, canteen monitor, environment group.]
|
|
|
Do I get the chance to work with different
groups of people?
|
|
|
Do I know what to do if I am being bullied
or hurt?
|
|
|
Am I encouraged to try new things?
|
|
|
Is everyone encouraged to make positive
comments, with no put-downs?
|
|
|
Am I encouraged to follow my interests?
|
|
|
Do I get to participate in decision-making
in the class and the school?
|
|
|
Can I ask for and get extra help if I need
it?
|
|
|
Am I encouraged to make good choices?
|
Anywhere else
We have laws in the community that are there to protect you. Even if you make a mistake and break those laws, you are still protected, because children have special courts and there are all sorts of people who can help you to work through the bad times and ‘bounce back'.
Are you resilient?
If you answered yes
to most of the questions about your home and your school, then you are well on
the way to becoming a resilient person. Why? Because you have people to love
and support you, people who encourage you and people who are there for you when
you need help or comfort.
Of course you too
have to work at becoming more resilient.
If you said no to
some of these questions, or even to most of the questions, you can still be a
resilient person. [In fact if you are coping with mostly no's then you
definitely are resilient!]
If you do not have
support from home, then think about who your trusted friends are – maybe other
people in your family, or family friends.
Maybe you have
trusted adults at school or in the community. Have a talk to them about how you
are feeling.
What you can do
|
1
|
To help yourself to be more resilient
|
||
|
|
 |
Positive self–talk. That means: tell that
voice in your head to think about all the good things around you and all the
good things that you can do.
|
 |
|
|
|
Set realistic goals, take small steps and
build on success.
|
|
|
|
|
Make good choices.
|
|
|
|
|
Be a positive person. Compliment others and
they will compliment you.
|
|
|
|
Make friends and work at being a good
friend.
|
|
|
|
Join in – hang out with positive people, eg
scouts, guides, youth groups and environment groups, sports players and
friends who build you up rather than let you down.
|
|
|
|
Say "I can't do this ……..yet!"
then try to learn a bit more each day.
|
|
|
|
Exercise, play sport, learn skills, be
active.
|
|
|
|
Accept that you will make mistakes – say
sorry to yourself as well as to others - then try to put things right and
have another go.
|
|
|
|
Get involved in pleasant things like art,
music, drama.
|
|
|
|
Give yourself time to think!
|
|
|
|
Have a go at new things, if they are safe
of course!
|
|
2
|
If your friend is having a hard time
|
||
|
|
 |
Keep asking your friend to do things with
you.
|
|
|
|
|
Ask your friend to do active things too.
Most people feel stronger (and more resilient) if they are fit and active.
|
 |
|
|
|
Encourage your friend to try.
|
|
|
|
|
Be a good friend and listener.
|
|
|
|
|
Keep her secrets, unless they are unsafe
secrets; if they might be unsafe then tell your trusted adult.
|
|
|
|
|
Tell the teacher if your friend is being
bullied.
|
|
|
|
|
Say positive things if your friend is feeling
sad.
|
|
|
|
|
Encourage your friend to get help.
|
|
|
|
|
Don't get upset if your friend wants to be
alone. Tell her that you will be there for her if she wants to play or talk.
|
|
What some kids say
·
"Try to help your friend if she is having a hard
time." Jaime
·
"Watching other people go through hard times makes you
feel how lucky you are. You want to try harder yourself."
·
"If you don't do something right first time, don't
worry, nobody can do something right every time. Just keep trying."
·
"If you are worried or sad, talk about your feelings
with someone you can trust." Max
·
"Keep calm – if you make a mistake, admit it, then try
again." Erin
·
"Don't lock yourself away from the world. Get out and
join in with other kids." Jess
·
"Remember that everyone is different and everyone is
good at something. Find what you are good at." Kellie
·
"Be happy with yourself and other people will want to be
near you." Gemma
Dr Kate says:
"Everyone seems
to be so busy these days. There are so many things that kids can do, that
sometimes kids don't get enough sleep. If things are not going well in your
life it is very important that you do sleep for long enough to give your body
and mind time to rest and relax. You will find that the saying "things
will look better in the morning" is often true. Things may not be how you
would like them to be in the morning, but you will have had enough rest to be
able to cope. Your resilience will see you through until the better times
arrive again."|
|
 Remember: if you have worries
or you don't feel ok, tell an adult you can trust. There is nothing too bad
to tell and everybody needs help sometimes. |
We've collected this information to help you to understand important things
about staying healthy and happy. However, if you feel sick or unhappy, it is
important to tell your mum or dad, a teacher or another grown-up.
Article from Kids
Health
