By Barbara Cedillo Alvarez, eHow Contributing Writer
Today's stresses can be overwhelming if you don't have a source of strength or resilience in your life. You can learn how to increase your resilience by identifying your strengths and needs, as well as finding the sources of stress in your life that you may need to handle differently. You can also teach your own children how to develop their own resilience.
Strengths and Needs
1. You have the strength inside to help you to handle the stresses life throws at you. In order to increase your resilience, you need to identify your individual coping strengths--those traits that help you to deal with the various setbacks and disappointments you encounter in your daily life. Figure out what your problem-solving skills are. These include your ability to analyze your problem and the various avenues you have to solve that problem. You should also identify the resources you have available to you.
Determine your communication patterns with your family--spouse and children or parents. While you're identifying strengths, resources and communication patterns, you also need to identify your needs or weaknesses. These are the areas where you need to improve your abilities. These could include your ability to empathize or to allow yourself to rely on others for help or strength.
Family Ties
2. You can teach your children by setting rules and boundaries. If you include rules about substance abuse, you can teach your children that substance abuse will not be permitted in your home. By communicating a strong, positive message, you will ensure that your children will listen to that message, says Karol Kumpfer, Ph.D. While you are setting this message for your children, you're also setting it for yourself. By establishing a definite message and behavior regarding substance abuse, you can become a positive role model. Your children will internalize that message, which will help them in developing their own values. They will begin to rely on their own strength and resilience as well.
By communicating and demonstrating your own beliefs and behaviors, you will let your children know these are the habits you want them to incorporate in their own lives. You will give them an invaluable gift of good values and this will help them to more successfully resist peer pressure when they are with friends. They will learn to develop their own source of resilience by witnessing how you live by your beliefs.
Stress
3. You can learn what stress is, how it develops and how to deal with it. When you are able to identify these factors, you can learn how to control the stress you encounter in your daily life. Stress affects you physically and emotionally. You do need a certain level of stress in your life in order to function, but too much stress is counterproductive. If you are experiencing something new in your life, such as the birth of a child or illness of a parent, you need to learn how to rely on other supports until you have adjusted to the changes in your life.
For example, if you have a sick, elderly parent, you need to learn how to rely on respite care so that you can take breaks and recoup your own strength and energy. You become stronger and more resilient when you admit you need outside help. Identify the specific stressor and how you can resolve that issue in order to begin to reduce the stresses in your life. In this way, you learn to take proactive steps and develop more resilience.
From ehow
