By NGRIA Bassett
A Must have Characteristic in Changing Times
Resiliency is what set some people apart from others. Have you ever met those who seem as if they experience adversity daily, they are always at the end and the beginning of a jolting life event? What is their source of strenght we often ask; how do they cope? We often say or think internally " man, if that was me I don't know how I could handle it"?
This is so true, we imagine the worse and quiver with fear and quickly reject the thought of "what if"? We have some real life examples of coping and survival with a great attitude. Just this week, a young girl was featured for her altruism in the face of herself battling cancer. There has been some studies that concluded that altruism is linked to resiliency in children and that this is an inate behaviour.
Resiliency Defined
This is the capacity to cope with stress or catastrophe and return to its original form or function. My analogy is the difference between a dry stick and a green branch of similar size. One will allow much bending while the other will snap easily.I guess the green branch was more recently or still is connected to its source of life and energy while the dried branch/ twig is disconnected unnourished and unsupported for sometime.
So, in view of the above definition, I wonder if any would choose the latter description of the twig. Resiliency if an inate trait, ought to be encouraged and strengthened along the life phases.
What are those life sources that we depend on, that we know that we need,to cope well with our individual lives? The first point is usually family, our first point of spirituality or connection. We derive our personal identity through our feelings of being a part of a larger whole. We become whole by being a part of as well.This is acceptance, we all want acceptance.
So I wonder what happens when this family system is not in place for us, when life is transient through unstable relationships,when as kids we find that we cannot rely on anyone. Where does the child turn, where do they go with unmet needs and feelings of disconnectedness?
Dr. Seibert is an expert who believes in Resiliency and runs a program on the subject.Click on the link to take the test.
http://www.resiliencycenter.com/resiliencyquiz.shtml
The human mind, body and spirit has proven to be an amazing machinery. We get hurt and we bounce back, we become wounded or injured and we heal, we are at a disadvantage and we triumph, at least most of us do , most of the time.
What if we died, the first time we got an infection/ Most of the population on the earth would have been wiped out! So it is probably fair to say that we are all resilient, to some degree. Can we lose our resilience? Can we become more resilient? These questions I believe can be answered in the affirmative.
So if we can lose it and we can improve it, there seem to be somethings that we can do about this resilience issue.
Keys to Resilience
There are few traits that I have found to aid resilience
(This is by no means an exhaustive listing)
* Belief and Confidence in Oneself , Abilities and Strength
* Ability to Manage own Strong Feelings and Impulses
* Problem Solving and Coping Skills
* Open Attitude and Acceptance of Change
* Ability to Communicate well
* Having Healthy Relationships and Strong Connections
* The Ability to use past Experiences as Assets
* Hope
* Optimism, finding a Positive in every Negative situation
* Have a Good sense of Humour
* Nurture your Inner Self ( Spirit)
* Be Kind to Yourself
One of our more recent heroes of resilience is Christopher Reeves, Star of Superman. Most of us know that he experienced an equestrian accident in 1995, which left him a quadraplegic. He was totally dependent on others for his survival and could stop breathing without the support of a ventilator. What made him decide to choose to live this way? I believe there were many factors, but his resilience spoke very loudly and through his fight not only for his survival but in bringing much needed attention to the plight of others of similar circumstanes.
Along with his now late wife Dana, they founded the Christopher Reeves Foundation to advance the cause of Spinal Cord injuries. Cristopher Reeves died after nine (9) years of valiant battle at the age of 52years old and his wife died two years later from lung cancer at the age of 44 yrs.
Resilience will not prevent challenges from comin your way. It will help you in being prepared mentally for whatever life brings your way. It is like having an umbrella before the rainfall, you just need to open it in the rain.It will aid you in going through the situation, extracting the juice and then making lemonade.
"I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles."
Christopher Reeve (1952-2004)
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